A 1:1 is frequently held in isolated or private meeting rooms in the office primarily because it typically happens to be the most convenient location for work conversations. However, 1:1’s don’t only need to be conducted in meeting rooms. Some people prefer to conduct them at a cafe over tea or coffee. Some even prefer to have a “walking 1:1”, to break the monotony of being seated all day long. In this COVID-19 world, online 1:1 sessions work perfectly well.
The most important aspect of choosing an appropriate 1:1 setting is to ensure it provides a level of comfort to both parties. Large meeting rooms are awkward for 1:1’s, and needless to say, tiny and cramped spaces are a poor choice as well. A quiet and comfortable place where there is no risk of being overheard works wonders.
Senior/Junior 1:1
A simple rule of thumb during a 1:1 is that the more senior person in the 1:1 should primarily be listening mode and be clear in ceding up to 80% of the time to the junior member. The junior member should be aware that he/she is responsible for determining much of the content of the agenda.
Whilst the junior member is talking, the senior member in the 1:1 should take the opportunity to listen, understand, internalise, and subsequently provide guidance and recommendations to the junior member.
It should never be the case that the senior member speaks for the majority of the 1:1 session, unless there is a very clear agenda that the senior member is speaking to (for example, a performance review). Even so, such occurrences should be relatively infrequent.
Senior members should always bias to the junior member having the airspace. For one, it provides the time and space for the junior member to raise issues that would otherwise not get due visibility. It also provides a level of comfort to the junior member that they are being heard.
It is, however, the responsibility of the senior member to steer the conversation and keep it focused through appropriate questions at the right juncture. At the start of a 1:1 relationship, the senior member should set the agenda so it sets the appropriate expectations from the 1:1.
Peer 1:1
If peers are having 1:1’s, there is less formality in the conversation. Dynamics of the conversation depend heavily on the content and the expected outcomes of the discussion. It is not uncommon for peers to have indepth discussions, and neither is it uncommon for one peer to provide guidance and advice to the other peer. Body Language 1:1’s are best conducted face to face because gestures, facial expressions and cues, as well as posture is communicated via body language. Body language is only visible when people speak to each other face to face, and an experienced communicator will be able to pick up these cues to modulate the conversation in the 1:1.
1:1’s are best conducted face to face because gestures, facial expressions and cues, as well as posture is communicated via body language. Body language is only visible when people speak to each other face to face, and an experienced communicator will be able to pick up these cues to modulate the conversation in the 1:1.
In some cases, remote 1:1’s are unavoidable. For remote 1:1’s to be successful, a level of maturity between the parties concerned is important. As much of the unspoken means of communication is not available, being crisp and clear is necessary. One approach that helps is to turn on video during the call to help share facial expressions and cues.